So he asks: "Is that a real hook on your hand?"
"Aye, I were in a duel with me ol' nemesis, and lost me hand in the struggle."
The bartender is shocked, and continues by asking: "Is that a real pegleg?"
"Aye, tis. I was out at sea, 'nd our ship were fired upon. Lost me leg in the crossfire."
The bartender couldnt believe it! A real pirate!
So he asks him: "How about your eyepatch? How did you get that?"
"Arr, I was just getting to shore, when a seagull pooped in me eye."
"And you lost your eye from that?"
"No, I just still wasn't used to the hook."