Another man said: "But that is very good news, why you seem to be little unhappy?"
The first man: "Because my wife doesn't know it yet!"
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Jokes
Let's laugh! It is very healthy!
Jokes are like poems: read slowly with time and enjoy!
Have a nice life:
About 1,4 million children are at risk of starvation this year. This is so much bigger catastrophe than terrorism or any natural disaster.
Today there is 923 shares of this page in Twitter or Facebook (like you see right up). When there is 1000 shares I start to grow the donation to Unicef for helping those children. Every 10 shares I give 1% of profit of this page to Unicef. So, when there is 1500 shares, I give 50% of profit to Unicef. I have already give 50% of profit to Unicef until today and now I start this new way to count the amount of the donation.
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A group of men was sitting in a bar when one of them said little unhappily: "I am going to be a father!"
Another man said: "But that is very good news, why you seem to be little unhappy?" The first man: "Because my wife doesn't know it yet!"
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A tourist was little scared when they came into a cave with a guide.
The tourist: "Is here bats?" The guide: "No no, don't be worry, snakes have eaten them all!" A little boy asked his father: "Dad, what is the capital of Venezuela?"
Dad: "I don't know!" The boy: "Dad, is the sky always blue?" Dad: "I don't know!" The boy: "Dad, how old is the oldest animal in the world?" Dad: "I don't know!" The boy: "Dad, am I asking too much?" Dad: "No, absolutely no, keep asking or you can't learn anything!" Jack Told his friend Mike: "Yesterday I was dancing with Julia when the top of her dress slipped down and her boobs saw the light of the day!"
Mike: "Oh boys, Julia certainly was embarrassed and turned red?" Jack: "I really don't know, because nobody looked at her face!" A little boy came home from school: ”Mom, I have learnt to write!”
The mom: “Wov, congratulations, what did you write?” The boy: "How could I know that? I can write, but I can't read yet!" UN made a worldwide query: ”Please, give your honest opinion what is the solution to lack of foodstuffs elsewhere in the world?” The question proved to be unsuccessful. It was too difficult to understand:
In Africa nobody knew what means “foodstuffs”. In Eastern Europe nobody knew what means “honest”. In Western Europe nobody knew what means “lack of”. In China nobody knew what means “opinion”. In Middle East nobody knew what means “solution”. In South America nobody knew what means “please”. In North America nobody knew what means “elsewhere in the world”. Two guys Peter and Jack were discussing:
Peter: “Do your mother-in-law visit often at your home?” Jack: “Never!” Peter: “You lucky boy! My mother-in-law do it very often!” Jack: “I am not sure about “lucky boy”, my mother-in-law lives with us all time!” Peter: “Oh no, you should tell her that she must move away!” Jack: "I think it is not good idea. The apartment is her!" A man was in drugstore and asked sleeping pills to his wife.
The pharmacist: “These sleeping pills are good. If you take this package it is enough for two months!” The man: "It is too much. I think that my wife doesn't want to sleep so long!" Two women met in heaven and asked each other how their lives has ended.
First woman: “I froze to death!” Second woman: “I had doubts that my husband was unfaithful to me. I came home and started to search another woman everywhere. I didn’t find her, I got stressed and I dyed to heart attack!” First woman: "Why you didn't look to freezer in the storeroom? We both would be still alive!" A couple Jack and Mary used to spend one week in every year in Canarian Islands. In this year Jack’s holiday started few days before Mary’s holiday. Jack travelled to the Canarian Islands and waited there Mary. After his arrival to Canarian Islands in hotel room Jack realized that there is computer in his room. He decided to send an email to his wife Mary, who was still at home. Jack made one little mistake in email address and his email went to the widow of some priest whose husband had just died. Little later the son of the widow found his mother as unconscious near her computer. The son saw email in the open screen:
"My dear wife, I have just arrived here. I know that you will be surprised when you get this email, but here is nowadays computers and you can sent messages to your relatives and friends. I have checked in and everything is ready for your arrival tomorrow. I am waiting you with enthusiasm. I hope you can come here as easily as I. Greetings, your loving husband. P.S. It is very hot here!" A man who had sentenced to death was sitting in the electric chair.
A priest was talking to him and asked: "Do you have any kind of the last wish?" The man answered: "Yes I have, I wish that you keep my hand until the end!" A little, but very strong-minded country has fallen to the war against a big and strong country. Soldiers of the little country had good motto: “One our soldier is the same as ten soldiers of that big country!”
Large column of the big country moved on the road when they heard from behind a hill: “One our soldier is the same as ten your soldiers!” The commander of the large column ordered ten soldiers to attack over the hill and stopped that kind of yelling. There was couple of shots and then totally silence. After that the commander heard from behind the hill: “One our soldier is the same as one hundred your soldiers!” The commander of the large column ordered hundred soldiers to attack over the hill and stopped that kind of yelling. There was a little moment of shooting and explosions and then totally silence. After that the commander heard from behind the hill: “One our soldier is the same as one thousand your soldiers!” Now the commander of the large column got angry and ordered thousand soldiers to attack over the hill and to stop that kind of yelling. Now there started a really war behind the hill. A long time shooting and explosions and after that totally silence and then one soldier of the big army ran back to the commander: "Warning warning, don't go there, it is a trap! There is two of them!" Julia and Mary met in a long time and they started to talk about how they are doing.
Julia: “Are you still dating with Mark?” Mary: “Absolutely not! That kind of Don Juan. Can you imagine, he was married and he never told that to me?” Julia: “Oh no, I’m so sorry! How did you find it out?” Mary: "My husband told that to me!" A woman came to the pharmacy and asked: ”Do you have some good drug against hiccup? This is awful, I can’t sleep anymore!”
The pharmacist walked slowly around the desk behind the woman and hit to the head of woman with the palm of her hand. After that the pharmacist said: “I am very sorry, but the most effective system against hiccups is proper shock! You have to pay now 10 dollars!” The woman: “I know that , but the one with the hiccups is not me, but my husband!” A big heavy man was coming back to his seat in interval in theatre.
He asked the first man in the row: “Did I step over your toes when I left my seat when the interval started?” The man looked him angry and waiting some kind of apology he said: “Yes, you really did!” The big heavy man turned around and said his wife walking behind him: "Yes Martha, this is our row!" |
Magic trick:
1) Think some colour 2) Think some tool 3) Look at the page "Games and other fun" :) JokesAuthorWriter is a man who thinks that the humor is very useful in life. His hobby is jokes, he enjoys to share them and likes to offer jokes for laugh. Here are jokes he has chosen not invented. Idea is that he collects only good jokes and so you don't have to read tens and tens jokes to find out some good ones. Here! BigStep - application! Archives
June 2019
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